Disappointing and Painful - but I'll try it again.....

Disappointed.

I'm pretty sure that's how the Acupuncturist felt when I left the other day.  That's how she looked, anyway - disappointed.  

Disappointed that I hadn't even seemed drowsy by the end of my first acupuncture session. A session designed to treat my insomnia.  Disappointed that I had, in fact, been giggling (by myself - I'll explain this in a bit) in the room during my first session. And disappointed that my central nervous system seemed just as "jazzed" after the session as it was before.  And her goal before the session started was to 'dial it down a bit'.

Now, I realize that it will take more than one session to deal with my insomnia.  For those who don't know me well - and I know anyone reading this probably knows me well - I'm a SEVERE - SEVERE - read that SEVERE - insomniac!! I take 20mg of Ambien every night and sleep 6 - 7 hours, and that's a long night.  (And not bad for the average American.)  Without it, I would sleep maybe 1 - maybe.....

So, as I've said, I know it will take more than one session.  However, as with other health professionals who have come into my life in the past few years, they don't realize the extreme level of insomnia that I deal with, and therefore, I think that they think that (did you get that), while I'm not lying to them, I'm probably exaggerating how severe my issue is.  Then, when they begin their treatments in my life in whatever their particular field of expertise is and it doesn't go well, or as planned or isn't as effective as they imagined it might have been or should have been, and they look stumped or frustrated or sad - that's when I feel sorry for them.  They thought it was going to help and it didn't.  Except for this one sleep specialists who was an ass - he was one of those people who 'believes his own press', you know the type.  The health care professional who says "don't you worry, I've helped hundreds of people with your issue, and you're no different. I'm going to help you too."  Well, thank you for making me feel not special......I'll just be walking away from you and never coming back!!  I never felt sorry for him!

But I digress.........In addition to the Acupuncturist being disappointed, the other major issue with my first acupuncture experience was that it hurt!! The needles hurt a lot going in, and then the ones that were in my left ear hurt the whole time they were in my left ear! The Acupuncturists put needles in the top of both of my feet, I think a few in my legs, a couple in my arms, several in my right and left ears, a few in the top of my head and one very low in my decolletage.  I held very still for that one to be sure she didn't puncture one of the girls!! :)  And then, when she took them out, they hurt again.  And they felt weird the whole time they were in. 

I just found out today from one of John's co-workers that according to "tradition", if it hurts a lot when the needles go in, it could mean that the issues the person has are very severe.  Well, that would make sense......not sure if that's very scientific or not.

Well, I laid for about 25 minutes, my legs sorta went to sleep.  I had to carefully move them around so I didn't disturb the needles. One of the needles in my arm did fall out.  The bed was nice and warm, however, it had a heating pad down the whole length! That was definitely a nice perk!! And there were two skylights in the room, so I could watch the rain fall.

Oh, and let me explain the laughing by myself.  There was a very loud clock in the room, and I began to hear the rhythm of it after a few minutes.  It was a slow rhythm, and my OCD brain began trying different phrases to see what "fit" the rhythm.....Of course, I had to try Big Bang Theory Sheldon's 'flash drive train chanty', "You forgot your flash drive," and discovered that it worked slow or fast.  That thought made me giggle.....just a little......

Then I thought about the absurdity of where I was, in this holistic type clinic (a converted house) with peaceful eastern type music and incense and quiet, peaceful mood, with warm beds and warmly painted walls - "You forgot your flash drive! You forgot your flash drive! You forgot your flash drive!"  And I giggled more - louder........Then I thought -- I wonder if John can hear me in here giggling all by myself, and wondering what the hell am I giggling about.  I'm supposed to be quiet, having an acupuncture appointment, possibly resting.......and that made me giggle even louder and harder!! I think I even.blustered, "Bwhahahahaha!!!"

Alright, Brenda, breathe in, breathe out.............there are other folks in other rooms........you need to quiet down............watch the rain........breathe in............breathe out...............little giggle....."you forgot your flash drive".................shhhhh..................giggle..............

I wonder how long I've been in here......I know there are needles in my head so I can't turn my head too much, I don't want to drive them into my brain........not sure the whole "dialing down my central nervous system is going if I'm thinking about driving acupuncture needles into my brain".......:*P

I'll try it again...................and I guess the Acupuncturist will too, she was willing to schedule another appointment.....................but she did sound.........disappointed.